Holy Shit!

It was so fucking busy and full of asshole Canadians. I officially hate all of them and hope they get hit by a bus, and today only cemented that.

It was so fucking busy at Guest Service, and then this woman comes up with a broken part of a birdbath. Well, she had put another one on hold, so I press the back-up button and go to get it. It is a huge fucking box that's heavier than Star Jones. I attempt to put it in a cart, but it was too heavy. So I walk back to GS to tell the guest that I am going to go to the backroom to get a flat so I can bring it out. There is a line of about 10 people waiting. I get pissed because no one is responding, grab the walkie and yell that I need help at GS. So I grab the flat and get everything in order. But honestly, who puts a VERY heavy object on the ground with no way of moving it in sight. I was so pissed off.

Then, the usual stupid questions. "I'm from Canada, can I get a circular?" YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY WHERE YOU ARE FROM AT THE BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING YOU SAY! It's not like after you ask for an ad I'm gonna ask you what country you live in! It's random shit like that, that really pisses me off.

I was pushed over the edge later. I was leaving the building and starting to walk into the parking lot, when this Canadian van speeds up and slams on their brakes, HONKS at me, and the bitch inside is yelling at me to get out of her way. I gave her a dirty look and flicked her off. I don't know what they teach in Canada (obviously not manners or common sense) but here in America, pedestrians have the right of way, especially when I was already crossing the area before you were even close to me. I wanted to beat the living shit out of her. Still do actually.

While I was at lunch at my local Wendy's, you could tell it had been recently visited by Canadians. How? There was food trays and garbage on the tables. They are the biggest fucking pigs. There were only 7 billion garbage cans in the place. I didn't know you were too good to dump your own garbage. Give me a break.

And that wasn't the only placed that was trashed. Of course our store was! Again, they are too damn lazy to put shit back where they found it. We found so much unthawed "frozen" merchandise around the store. WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!? We also found a loaf of bread under one of the magazine rack. Keep in mind that there is only about 2 inches between the bottom of the rack and the shelf base, so the bread was smushed to shit. If you don't want it, give it to us! We're not going to chop your head off although we want to.

Then of course my store OF ALL TIMES decides to cut hours THIS week. This has been THE busiest we have been since Christmas. It pissed me off. And then we were there until 11:30 because of short-staffing and the pigs, err...Canadians.

Thank fucking GOD I don't work until Saturday! Although this weekend will be BAD because the Canadians have Monday off, so there will be even more of them down here. That's it, I'm taking next year's Canadian spring break off. Fuck'em all!

Oh My Dear Lord

It is BUSY in town this week. Guess who? Yup, those damn Canadians are down here. I don't understand how it's spring break for the university of stupid, and yet the whole damn city is down here. And of course my store did not think about scheduling more people this week because that would have been too hard. It just makes me more angry at the store and the Canadians when the store is busting at the seams.

Sunday was alright because they actually scheduled a lot of people. Lanes 2-12 and 18-30 were open. Yet we were still calling for back-up.

Then I have heard horror stories about the past two days. From busloads (yes that's plural) at food Ave to every single TM at the front lanes to control a back-up. I heard guests were lined up into the merchandise. I'm not looking forward to Wednesday and this weekend. In Food Ave, my friend told me there was a total of 8 quesadillas ordered around the same time. The grill can only do 2 at a time. That may not sound like a big deal, but then you add on the rest of the bus getting other food items and it can hold up orders for a long time. And because the busloads of dumbasses have the patience of a flood, it can get quite frustrating. My friend had to leave the building on his break just to cool down. He said every car he could see from the doors were all Canadian. Oh joy!

I believe I'm the only one in Guest Service from 4:30-close, but I could be wrong. In any event it will be stressful as all fuck, which I don't have the time nor energy to worry about right now.

Here's to hoping the Canadian dollar plummets in value!

To add: Sara (the funny one) said this past weekend, "It smells like Canadian vag in here." Haha! And of course it was in front of guests. She's too funny!

Ok, So I Lied

I guess Canadian spring break is NEXT week, but still it was pretty damn busy for having no events in town.

So I get to work on Sunday, and I was scheduled 12-7:30 and Maggie tells me I get to work Guest Service because Christa didn't show up. I was elated to say the least. I was just saved from 7.5 hours of cashiering.

We had some funny answers to our questions today:
Sharon asked a guest, "Do you have any other shopping to do?"
The guest said, "No, I just need to get a few more things."

And I asked a guest, "Was there anything wrong with it?"
And the guest said, "No, it's broken."

Then towards the end of the night, I experienced a doosie of a bitch.
Ok, so she comes up and asks if she could get a raincheck for an item. So I call back to the department for numbers and they tell me it's only a price cut, and we don't give rainchecks on price cuts. Well, the price cut ended in a few days and she wanted to know what would happen next. I told her that it would go to regular price. She asked me if I knew what the new price would be, and that I obviously don't know. So she bitchily asked, "Is there anyone that DOES know?" I told her I don't think anyone would know, but I would call up a manager. Rich came up and he told her the exact same thing I told her. So Rich starts walking away and the bitch flips on ME. She said something like, "If you are working in customer service, you should know all the answers. I've worked in customer service and I know you should not be up here. Maybe you should keep that in mind next time." And she walked away. I sarcastically said "OK!" Then I followed with, "I hope you didn't treat any customers like that." What a bitch. Even the guest my co-worker was helping said, "What's her problem?" After she left we all looked at each other and laughed because I still didn't know what the fuck just happened. I hope she gets hit by a car...oops, did I just say that?

Canadian Spring Break

Holy mother fucking shit, it is BUSY in town!! It was so busy in Target I wanted to shoot myself. And all the Canadians are down here so it's 10 times busier.

So I was doing a return of a phone card, the lady says nothing to me about anything except for the fact that it didn't work. So I start the return and ask her if she wanted it credited back to her card. She said she didn't have the card and I told her we didn't need it. She then yelled literally, "NO!" I was a bit shocked because I didn't know what the fuck was the problem. She starts bitching that she wants another one. So I give her a giftcard, and she was on her way. My God, she made the biggest fucking stink out of nothing.

Then, I don't know why, but everyone was returning all their defective shit today. It seemed like everything that was returned was defective. Or it didn't fit when the Canadians tried it on at their hotel room. I hear that at least once a day.

The head cashiers were bitching up a storm that we needed to get Target cards. They told us we had to get at least 2 each. I said, being the smartass that I am, "As long as we're dreaming, I want a leprechaun." I'm asking, leave me alone.

It was just hectic today, and this whole week is going to be miserable. Of fucking course they don't schedule around Canadian holidays so we always have a skeleton crew running the fucking store. From around 1:30-2:30 there were NO SALESFLOOR TEAM MEMBERS. On a fucking Saturday!!! So of course all hell was breaking loose and the front lanes were backed up into next year. But there wasn't anyone available to come up so it was a mess.

This coming weekend is going to be even more of a fucking disaster because we have the NCAA playoffs here, Aerosmith will be in town, and of course the end of Canadian spring break.

I don't understand why ALL the Canadians are down here. I thought it was just spring break for the students, but I haven't seen very many if at all. It's all the rude one that have such a feeling of self entitlement just because they come from Canada.

And to make things even better, I cashier tomorrow for 7.5 hours! Shoot me now!

Retail: The Comic Strip

Hey, I found the most true representation of retail all in a daily comic strip. More info can be found here: http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/retail/about.htm

There are some funny ones in there, be sure to check it out!

Something in the Water

Or maybe it's because of the full moon? People today have been complete assholes.

First off, there was this one woman who had 2 bags FULL of random shit with 3 different receipts. There had to be at least 20 items. And of course she didn't know what was on each receipt. So I grab one and start scanning some things. Well the receipt she had she paid some in cash and some on her credit card. So, the computer wanted to give her the cash back. She freaked out saying how she wanted it back on her credit card. I told her the computer wouldn't let me do it. So I called the head cashier and she dealt with her. She ended up voiding the transaction to see if receipt look-up would work, but it still wanted to give cash back. At the end of everything the guest thanked us for our help and apologized, but in my eyes it was too little too late. Oh well.

Another guest freaked out at a cashier because they couldn't write their check out for over the amount. She claimed she was able to it last week. We haven't been able to in over a year and a half.

Another guest gave me the third degree about returning an open CD. She wanted to know why we had to open the one they were exchanging it for, and would not stop asking questions even after I explained it. Irritating.

Then there was this guy who left a bag of stuff at our store. He called 5 minutes before closing saying he'd be there in 10 and totally freaked out when I said he may not be able to pick it up tonight. Well, I talked to the LOD and he said he would lock the door 5 minutes after 10. So the guy came and got his shit. Must have been important.

Then there's the people who are returning something without a receipt and I explain the whole exchanging policy we have, then they ask "Can't I just get a giftcard?" NO! Did I fucking mention a giftcard!? No! If it were an option then I wouldn't explain the fucking policy now would I!? Christ people!

Another thing I hate is when I'm doing absolutely nothing by a register and the guest comes up and sets their shit by the computer on the other side of the counter. Hello! I'm down here!

And also where they have 10 billion things in 1 billion bags with 40 million receipts, and don't know what goes with what and so I have to scan every single god damn thing to see if it's on a certain receipt, and it ends up taking forever to process.

Also when a guest is waiting in line, and then they come up to be helped and decide that THEN is the time to look for the receipt. Do that before you come in the store!

Then there was this woman who was registering for our baby registry, and she would not get off the fucking phone! Hello, there are things I need to tell you so you don't fuck everything up!

Ugh! People were just unbearable today!

The Club

Ok, so you all know about "the Club", that stupid invention that one puts on their car steering wheel so no one steals it. Well, it is in almost every Canadian car down here. First off, is it the 1980s up there? I didn't even know they still made the club. Second of all, no one in our rinky-dink town is going to steal your car. If it's locked, it's fine. Even if it isn't locked, it's not likely to be stolen in a parking lot FULL OF PEOPLE! Fuck, people around here don't even lock their doors to their houses. Our city is about 1/10 the size of the 'big' city up there, and we only have 50,000 people. It's funny when we went up there because SO many cars had the damn club on them.

Along with their 1980s vibe, they wear the weirdest shit. Like fanny-packs. My God, it seems like all of them have one. They also wear their Canada shit down here. I know I've bitched about this before, but is it really fucking necessary to wear Canada shit wherever you go. Do you have to stand out from everyone. The only reason I can think of is that they do it *because* they stand out. They don't want to be associated with us because they think we are so below them. They treat us like shit most of the time and expect to be an exception to every rule just because they made the trip from Canada. Well, I suggest you return.

They also have weird hair. Like with 40 billion colors in it. Even on old ladies. I've seen purple, green, red (actual red, not the orangey natural shit), and combinations.

I hate the sight of their license plate, it sends me into a bitchfest, quite like the one you are experiencing now. They have the shittiest attitude and I don't think they even know it. My friends that work at restaurants say they don't tip... at all. Do they not know how to tip, or do they just not care. As you have read from my previous posts, they don't clean up after themselves. They will take a pair of shoes off the shelf, try them on, and leave them there, out of the box and everything. One of these days I am going to explode and go on a shooting rampage. Or I'll just tell them to act like civilized human beings. I didn't think one's nationality could be an excuse for everything they do. My friend had a Canadian call her from Canada and she forgot her purse in our store. She wanted us to mail her fucking purse to her. We obviously can't do this because we can't be held responsible if it got lost in the mail. What did she say to this..."But I'm from Canada." What the fuck!? If it gets used today, I will tell them off. And if they ask if we exchange money. NO! We are not a bank! What surprises me even more is that they freak out on ME because they can't and demand to know where they can. A BANK! Well, if the banks are closed again it's my fault. Hmmm, a simple solution: EXCHANGE YOUR FUCKING MONEY BEFORE YOU COME DOWN HERE!

What started my whole tirade today is that one of the major hotel chains in Canada is 'outreaching' to our city and building a hotel with an all-out waterpark right next to our arena. Our paper said how this will be good for the city because we'll have much more Canadian traffic down here. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! And soon, they'll be down here saying they are the reason the city prospers...oh wait they already do.

So in conclusion, if you want to see what the 1980s were like first hand, take a trip to Canada!

Stupid Bitch

So this woman and her husband come in, and they want to return a blazer and dress pants. They don't have the receipt, but they just bought it an hour ago. They want me to use the receipt look-up because they used their debit card. I told them that it probably wouldn't work because it was purchased just that day, but I said I would try. I tried and it obviously didn't work. So I told them I would either need a receipt of they could come back tomorrow and try the receipt look-up. The lady went apeshit. She started freakin gout saying that this was the only reason they came back, and that I should be able to look it up. My thoughts are how the fuck do you lose a receipt in one hour? Her husband was totally nice about it, and was perfectly fine with coming back the next day. But the wife was muttering under her breath about not being able to do it. What do you want me to do!? It's out of my control. God, she was a nasty bitch!